seems to have been declared between myself and eldest lad. Big Lad is being difficult. In actuality he is probably being precisely what he is designed to be at the moment, a teenage lad, I just don't have the necessary equipment to deal with him. All my ploys, I mean strategies, aren't quite cutting it. Now, I shall set the scene. Saturday my boy went to this other martial art he has become oh so slightly obsessed with (ninjutsu), after this he was ferried to his friends house for a sleepover. Sunday morning when it was time for judo, he was not answering his mobile... I then phoned the mum of the sleepover friend, who let me know that they were both fast asleep... no surprise there really. Other Half picked up the lad on the return from judo; oh my lord we gained back the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Apparantly some sort of headbanging had been taking place for the most part on saturday night (some Wii game, rock, guitar hero something or other). We had a most bad tempered child for the rest of sunday, and one who couldn't put one shoulder down or turn from side to side either... woo hoo. I knew in my heart of hearts that this would mean a very difficult monday morning. I tried to divert the disaster as it loomed, honest I did, I bought pain killing spray, ibuprofen, made a hot water bottle, even got the nearly fourteen year old in a bath (water and everything!! he didn't melt contrary to popular belief). However, monday morning brought the return of the hunchback. So convinced was he that he was terminal (not yet matey but carry on and I may terminate you myself) he refused point blank to get dressed. I also had a meeting booked with his head of year yesterday morning, needless to say I had to cancel! I took the lad to the doctor, who investigated him carefully, declared "well it's not meningitis and you can go to school". The boy was stunned, but it gave me the leverage I needed to get him to school. He lasted the whole day and seemed a tad better yesterday evening. Can you guess? What do you suppose happens after a night in bed not moving? Do you think possibly neck will stiffen up slightly and feel a bit worse? Or do you think that actually everything will fall off if you move and you can't possibly go anywhere, EVER?? Let's just say I've had a morning; couple with that a bit of toilet incident with youngest lad and I'm just about at the end of any tether I may have still in my possession at this point. I spent two hours, ahem, reasoning with an intransigent ball of hormones and hair (got that "looking at you from under his fringe" thing down to a fine art). I was saying "If you don't keep moving it'll stiffen up even more, and give you worse problems. You have to got to school" his lordship was hearing " I don't care about you, and anyway you are lying and really I just want you to suffer as much as possible, go away." Eventually after discovering it wasn't only his neck, shoulders and back, but also his stomach and head and even his toe (!) I had to admit defeat and call the school. I relayed the mornings events and am now expecting a call from the head of year this afternoon . Anyone want a small to middling sized teenage lad, hardly used, not bad nick despite some small movement problems, good at arguing points and playing online games? No? Nevermind, I am sure he'll grow out of it.....

unclean, unclean.... have you seen Survivors? I reckon this house could be in that program! Poor eldest daughter isn't well, eldest lad is coughing and snorting like a good un (although he still feels the need to go and see friends, must remind him of this when the dying duck impression comes out on a school day). My poor girl was due to go on a sleep over and a trip to the cinema tomorrow, so she must be really ill. Stretched out on the sofa with a cover . Of course now I have the added trauma of "do I go to work tomorrow?" She's not throwing up but her throat is pretty bad, she has dark circles under her eyes and she is very listless.... oh darn, not sure what to do, will have to decide tomorrow. On another note I ventured into the world of MySpace yesterday. I had been there before, out of curiosity, put up a profile and then never went back! Last night for some reason I changed my profile pic (from just post baby frumpy, to had a spray tan out with the girls). Almost instantly I heard an unfamiliar binging noise and a little green light thingy flashed at the bottom of my screen. OMG people (blokes) were wanting to talk to me. Most disturbing, I ignored them and ran away back to the darkside (fb for those unsure of what I mean). Don't think I'll be venturing there much, it's all a bit in your face... oh and I can't figure out how to creep about in stealth mode so weird people won't bother me Well it's pancake day and although people are falling by the wayside I am sure the promise of a little battery (as in made of batter... not electrically charged) treat will coax a response. Best go and mix some up then, oh but have to clear the sides first, then empty the dishwasher, then fill the dishwasher, then of course there is some clothes drying to be done... Mmmm and can't see the boys floor at all... Oh blimey, I may be sometime...

I'm sorry, I know they are probably very nice people (estate agent?!!? Mmmm...) and I shouldn't envy other peoples good fortune, and you know, one day it could be me! However....I am so hacked off that it isn't me that won enormous amounts of money on the euromillions last friday. I mean why isn't it me? How hard can it be to pick these blinkin' numbers? To be honest it's not necessarily the money I need, it's the freedom and options that money would bring. A choice of where to live, a choice to give each of my children a space of their own, a choice to stay at home and look after them when they're ill, a choice of being able to buy what I needed each week and not just what I can get by on. The difference money makes to your life is sad, it shouldn't be the case, but it's the way of the world. I am trying hard to be happy for these people as I believe what you throw out in the world (attitude wise) comes back to you, so attempting not to be negative and bitter ..... anyway, as I keep saying, if I won I'd share! Honest I would!!!

yes, you read it here first... I had a lie in this morning! And, as Other Half is still at work this week, I had a lie in with the bed to myself . Goodness me, I feel a bit guilty now, not getting up til nearly nine is a rarity. Mind you, do I feel refreshed and ready to bounce into action, or do I feel ever so slightly sluggish and not ready to move just yet? Cuppa tea will sort me out! It's half term and I have to work this week , not until wednesday granted but still... I have taken the huge and not my favourite decision, to leave eldest girl at home with her big bro. She is nearly eleven now and he is fourteen in two weeks, she is really getting a bit big to go to the nursery with the littleuns. I am hopeful that they won't bicker the house into a mass of rubble. My girl is most sensible and it is not a whole day after all. I will make phone calls at break time to check on them. Can you tell it's stressing me? We have visitors today so I should be tidying the aftermath of the weekend, Other Half has left evidence of himself all around the living room, cups, breakfast bowl, jeans on the floor...and I wonder why the boy doesn't tidy up after himself . Of course there is some washing to be done, it makes you wonder how you would fill your time if you had people to do for you doesn't it? If I didn't have all the washing, cooking, cleaning etc, what would I do with the day (oh and of course if I didn't have all that then I obviously wouldn't have to be at work... I'd have to be rich...) I know money doesn't solve every problem, but give me £56 million and I'll give it a shot! Hope you are all having a good day... I am off for secondary tea input... for the purposes of waking myself up just a little bit more .

Morning all! Due to a friend in need last night I ended up in a pub ("oh what a hardship" I hear you gasp). We didn't stay out long and it wasn't a wild night, but obviously a pint and a half of lager and a smirnoff ice is enough to give me a delicate disposition today. So, no shouting please and tiptoe through quietly, ta. I feel sad for my pal, especially today, a twenty year relationship is currently foundering on the rocks. One party is certain but my friend is still clinging on to hope. I am trying to steer her towards looking after herself and not thinking about how to make them come back to her. She will only do it in her own time. It does make me think however if only her Other Half would be honest with her she may be acting differently. there has been a lot of hedging bets as far as I can see, and all this has done is draw the process out, and given my friend false hope along the way. If it is truly over (which by all indications it is) then instead of trying to drive your partner to make the decision (by being as awful as possible, followed by feeling guilty and then being nice for a couple of weeks) maybe just sitting down and saying "it's no-ones fault, it is just different, I do not feel the same and do not want to be together" would be better for all concerned. I know how hard it is, I have been in the situation of being the leaver... but cruel to be kind is definitely the case I feel in these situations... So Happy Valentines to all of you, and sorry for the slightly miserable outburst, not very appropriate... oops! Now anyone with any ideas how to get this HTML editor thing back and working please let me know, cos this is getting on my nerves slightly....

life is all about juggling at the moment, juggling time, juggling money, juggling household tasks! There is no time, there is no money... however what there is in plenty, is stuff that needs doing. I am tired. I am always tired, I hear you say and yes that's true, but it feels like it's encroaching more and more on the real world. Couple into all this the lack of leave left (due to many sick children and having to take many days off to look after them) and I am not a happy bunny. No time to myself and no money to do anything even if I did have it. I need a holdiay or even a holiday would be good ..(spelling going to pot see). No holidays in the offing but I am saying Buggrit to everything and I am going "out" out next friday, to pubs and everything! Trouble is this does involve yet more juggling, payday it might be next friday, but that doesn't mean there is any spare cash. I will have to unallocate certain funds and borrow them for the night . I have ordered a couple of tops from my catalogue (buy now, pay forever after) and I shall decide which to keep and which to send back, I do need to find some hair dye and my eldest girlie is dragging me out today to buy a birthday present for one of her best pals, so I shall find some then. This week has been the usual, but with rain, I have been declaring all over the place "At least it's not SNOW!" to anyone who has moaned.. followed by "I can walk in rain". The work thing is getting right on my nerves, the ahem, training, is as good as I feared and is being covered by "you are doing really well". Translation, we don't really need to train you see, you can do it all by yourself.. here have a gold star, that'll keep you happy. I have coughed constantly since christmas, which is getting on my nerves, but at last it seems to be fading. Did I mention I need a break? Think I did, didn't I? We are still car-loss and that's irritating me also, walking everywhere does add an extra hour or three onto my day, buses don't exactly run when I want them to (sadly). Ok, moaning over, for the second at least. Cuppatea to make and small child fight to break up (squabbling over a nintendo ds as I type) have a great weekend all

hello, all. I had a bit of a weekend so my brain hasn't been working to usual capacity. Long (drunken) story short... I went round my friends house on saturday evening, for a quiet girly night, and somehow I ended up consuming about a litre (bleeecchh) of Baileys on my own. I also danced energetically and enthusiastically to many many songs on the Wii Just Dance game and I have a vague recollection of singing... to High School Musical!!! (I don't know any High School Musical Songs ) I stumbled home about one o clock saturday night/sunday morning, realised I felt a little nauseous, managed to locate a bucket and passed out on the sofa til four o clock in the morning. At this stage the true horror of the whirlies set in. Soooo, bucket and a glass of water (hoping against hope to rehydrate)in hand, I fell into bed. I got up about eightish and spent most of the day on the sofa, feeling a little tired and emotional . Little Miss M tried to give me cuddles and make me feel better, but alas the day passed in a haze. Did manage to make a sunday dinner, but goodness knows how! So today my head is slightly better, but my energy levels are zero, sadly the washing, hoovering and general bottle washing remains. I'm taking it slow, wish me luck.... might just find that kettle first, I'm sure that'll help .

just ever so slightly paralysed by the surrounding weather! I am not a fan of snow, I am sure I have mentioned this on more than one occasion before, so this past week has not been my favourite. Tuesday as I looked at the forecast and prayed they'd got it wrong, I continued as normal and of course when did it all begin? School pick up time of course. Don't get me wrong it was freezing cold before then and that was why I had left little Miss M at home with her big bro whilst I did the school run. However as we mums stood in the playground, awaiting our littleuns to come out and let us go home, the first tiny flakes fluttered down around us.... and as one we all looked at each other with childish glee and said "NOOOOO! Not now!" I managed to pick up both youngest boy and eldest girl and get to the Co-Op for some essential biscuit supplies before it really started to come down. By half four it was serious snow, blanketting everything. The children were having to be physically restrained from running out to make snow angels in the dark by half five. I was not a happy mummy, thoughts of icey school runs and slipping to work weighed heavy on my mind. Obviously did to everyone else as we were alerted by text and email that schools were to be shut, at first I thought I would still have to somehow struggle to work but then on checking the website saw no buses would venture out to our little corner of hampshire. Woohoo! Wednesday was the REAL snowday for the kids. I spent five hours outside supervising small people throwing themselves down our hil on tea trays, bits of silver insulation stuff, a wooden sled Other Half had just knocked up in the garage and literally anything they thought would help them hurtle down our road at an alarming rate. To be fair all the adults were out trying to find suitable "slippery stuff" themselves. The side affect of all the snow seemed to be a real sense of community spirit, we could all gather outside our houses and natter, watch the kids play and join in. No traffic defintiely makes it easier to gather! On thursday we started to stress about supplies, what if this weather continues and we can't get out at all? There was no way of driving anywhere (unless you fancied ending up down the bottom of our hill in a heap.... except you'd have to get the car dug out first... oh and our car doesn't work anyway..) bin lorries weren't coming and as I say buses didn't fancy it round our way either. Other Half took the decision to brave a walk up to the local "big" shops and hunter gather some microwave curries from waitrose as well as some more essential items (milk, bread, eggs). Took him a fair while but he was successful and we felt reassured that starvation wasn't on the agenda any time soon. By thursday night I was obsessively checking the bus website and it was still saying "no buses until further notice" I am not good with not knowing and so found it hard to settle, Other Half had been stranded at home too so if buses somehow ran I'd have to make the effort. This was not my favourite idea. Friday morning, there it was; my bus was running a small untimetabled serivce! Eeek I was going to have to go out into the world, possibly break my neck and wait at a bus stop for however long! Oh joy. I phoned work to let them know I would attempt the journey but goodness knows how long it would take. I made Other Half see me to the end of the road (just in case I broke my legs or something!!) and was pleased to see a bus! Yay, no waiting! When we set off I was most trepidatious, however the journey wasn't too dreadful. We did see abandoned cars on the hill still, and the bus only had a small corridor throught the snow, but we got there. The only downside was my bus wouldn't go to it's usual spot as it was too dangerous, so I had to walk on a layer of sheet ice. The journey which would normally take five minutes, took twenty. Minutes of walking very carefully with my eyes glued to the floor and not walking in very big steps, and still slipping and grinning at everyone I passed saying "This is horrible isn't it?" . I was most relieved to get into the building. I was equally lucky on the journey home and got off the bus to discover our pavements had ben gritted (on the main road) what a good idea! It was a wobbly walk back down our hill but at least I made it home in one piece, phew. Let's just see what the weekend brings, at least I don't have to think about work until wednesday and I can hibernate indoors for the weekend! Hope you are all keeping well and warm, I intend to do "not a lot" for the rest of the weekend!