Young Mums Want it All
When The Courier ran an online survey last week asking if young mums should work, or if they should stay at home with their children, the majority voted for the latter.
Of course there are so many variables it is impossible to generalise - single mothers, Low- income families etc. It would be nice if all mothers had the choice to stay at home to nurture their offspring. Unfortunately this is not the case, and the extra wage-packet is often essential for a moderate lifestyle to be maintained.
However, all too often these days women go back to work for selfish reasons. They want to continue having expensive holidays, wish to keep the second car in the family. I have even heard mums say they chose to go back to work because it would 'drive them mad' to be with the kids/baby all day.
So why have them?
Psychologists have found that the first two years are the most important and informative years of childrens' lives. They should be stimulated, and it is also the time they bond with their carer. Not ideal if the person they bond with is their childminder who is only looking after them for extra pocket money.
Having two children of my own - now teenagers - I stopped working when the first birth was imminent and didn't return to work until they were both at school. We struggled, had cheap holidays, didn't go further than the local on the rare occassions we found a babysitter. Had one old banger of a car, and I walked everywhere with my pushchair! We counted every penny.
But it was all worth it. To know that I saw their first steps, heard their first words, was there for them when they were ill. And most of all that the fact that I have brought them up to be polite, intelligent, talented and thoughtful young men fills me with pride.
I would not have had someone else bring my boys up for all the money in the world.
Published Date:
19/02/2008
Modified Date:
19/02/2008
Warwick - the debate continues
Peter Ormerod of the courier wrote a rather controversial piece in his Leamington Courier column last week. In response, mail from Warwick townsfolk has been flooding into the Courier offices - and not all deriding Peter's comments, but some actually in agreement. For instance, one reader praised the independant shops, galleries and restaurants insisting they keep Warwick unique. Another complained that these same shops have nothing to offer the Warwick resident but are to attract the tourists.
As an outsider to the area, only having lived in Leamington for a few years, I wish to add my view to the pot.
Warwick to me has always been a historic town. Somewhere to go for a few hours after visiting the castle. The square is twee, and a lot of the shops specialist and Warwick is a good place to go if you would like an unusual and special present.
Warwick's strong points I feel lie in the arts, with many literary events and galleries to visit and musty second hand book shops a treasure trove to the avid reader. It is also second to none for eateries, with award winning family restaurants and the odd chain vying for trade.
Having said all this, Since I have lived in Leamington I have rarely visited Warwick. The aforementioned shops have not tempted me to forsake the Parade with its mass-marketed goods, and there are only so many times you can visit the castle.
In short, Warwick will never compete with Leamington for commercialism. Nor should it. The town has character and charm. The odd ugly building is more than made up for by the olde worlde constructions which dominate, and the town is a great attraction to ramblers and families alike.
Vivre la difference!
Published Date:
07/02/2008
Modified Date:
07/02/2008
Big Bore-other
Difficult to believe, I'm sure (!), but I am a big Big Brother fan. I follow the main summer series of car crash TV at its best religiously, and have since the very first episode hit our screens. I have always justified my addiction as an interest in the psychology of the housemates, their reactions to their captor and that well-known phenomena of identifying with the one that deprives (Stockholm Syndrome). No-one believes that excuse for a second. Of course I am just nosy!
The winter-scheduled Celebrity Big Brother has always been just the antedote needed after the whirlwind of Christmas. TV which requires no braincell activity but satisfies my curiousity on how others think and react - all the more so with the housemates being 'celebrities'. Last years series may have made for difficult and cringe-worthy viewing, but to err is human, and it was proved that 'celebrities' are indeed more human than most! Steps should have swiftly been taken to remove the offenders, and a furore avoided (although interesting discussion on racism was provoked, which probably out-weighed any negative effects).
But to punish us all, this year a veritable crowd of Jazz-Hands youngsters have been given the run of the house in Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. Neither ordinary house-mates, nor celebrities, they vye for the attention of the cameras as no other group has - is it really possible? If not talking over each other about their various talents, they are eagerly demonstrating them with impossible vigour. Not even the Hijackers, which have included Iain Wright and Russell Brand, can save the day.
I never thought I would say this, but in a houseful of exaggeratedly self-obsessed, 20-year-old politician John seems to be almost normal!
Published Date:
09/01/2008
Modified Date:
09/01/2008
The Price of 'Beauty' - Clothes Show Live
As a preamble to Christmas, and hoping to pick up some imaginitive gifts for our girlfriends, my friend and I hopped on a train to the NEC and arrived with excited anticipation to the Clothes Show Live.
It was the first day of the show and we spent a lot of the day celebrity spotting, keeping one eye on the stalls of girly merchandice of course. Oh! The bling, the colours, the enhancers of our god-given bodies! All of which would change our lives forever, if only we were to buy them, take them home and treat them with the respect they deserve.
There was a whole 'street' of falsities to make us gorgeous. Hair extensions, coloured contact lenses, gel nails, eye tautening gel, chicken fillets for bras ... the list goes on. All I can say is if you were to use them all it would take you two hours to get ready for bed in the evening. And wouldn't the man of your life become deflated as he saw the real you unravel?
I did try the clip in hair extensions just to see what I would look like. I looked like Cher about to belt out a rendition of 'I Got you Babe' with Sonny.
And of course should I have decided to spend the required £100 on the scary tendrils of real hair, having tried to imitate the deft fingers of the stylist, I would probably only have ended up looking more like Russell Brand!
The day was not a waste, though. Far from it. Go along with a sense of humour and a healthy dollop of cynicim, and a lot of fun can be had.
The fashion show was amazing, with dancers and models putting on a great show. Caryn Franklin from the Clothes Show presented an award to an emotional design competition winner. and Gok of 'How to Look Good Naked' co-presented.
We spotted Louise Rednap (looking reassuringly bedraggled at the end of the day), Gemma Kidd promoting her range of make-up, Caprice promoting underwear...
And embarrassingly, on the way back to the station with our goodie bags, my friend shouts 'Yoo -hoo, Caryn!!! Over here darling!'. Caryn Franklin then spent the next ten minutes looking very puzzled and talking to two excitable women wondering where on earth she knew us from!!!
Published Date:
31/12/2007
Modified Date:
09/01/2008
Pamper Days - A Female Pursuit?
Having experienced the delights of one of the many pamper spas popping up everywhere, a week later I am so stressed you would fail to believe I had so much as my big toe massaged.
Arriving at the venue in a remote part of Somerset, the facilities were suitably impressive with soft music and aromatherapeutic smells being piped into every room.
Standing in the queue in the dining room for my complimentary glass of carrot juice, I suddenly wished I had exfoliated and dug out my false tan. Everyone else seemed so immaculate and totally at home. Call me stange, but I felt a mite uncomfortable in my fluffy dressing gown, given to me by the ever-so-chirpy receptionist. You would think that the fact that everyone else was wearing the same garb would make me feel less awkward; it did not.
Strange, then, that I felt a sense of relief when I entered the spa area and could take off my robe, revealing yet more skin, of that vaguely tinge of blue perculiar to those from Celtic backgrounds.
And so I moved from steam room, to meditation rooms (darkened areas with scented candles) to heated water beds where, so relaxed was I, I promptly fell asleep. I am sure that my fellow spa-ers had a bit of a snigger as I snored and dribbled.
Later, as I drove the one hundred plus miles home in the predictable motorway traffic, I wondered at the fact that I had just spent £60 on treatments whose affects were not going to last the journey. Treatments that I could easily duplicate at home.
It also occured to me how few men were treating themselves to a day of pampering (I saw three). Could there be a connection between these two conundrums?
Could it be that we women could never lie in a darkened room with scented candles at home, and not feel guilty that there was a pile of ironing to do. And having a nap while the bathroom needs cleaned would be unthinkable. And so we feel the need to 'treat' ourselves - to be looked after away from the stresses of home and work.
And as for men? Well, they never feel guilty about putting their feet up, having a snooze or a long, luxurious bath out of office hours.
Published Date:
31/12/2007
Modified Date:
09/01/2008
Take and give
I have been open and honest on this blog that mental health problems have been, and to a certain extent always will be, a factor in my life.
I have heard many bad reports about the mental health service. That no help and support is available, the service is a 'conveyor belt', and patients are discharged ftom hospital too soon without a support network.
This could not be further from the truth in my experience. I left St Michaels with a network of psychologist, psychiatrist and crisis team. Five years later they are still working with me. Up, down or stable, I am not alone - they are my safety net.
I have now been given the chance to give something back. I am a volunteer on a helpline for people who have similar problems to myself. Once a week I man the phones and speak with people who are bi-polar, depressed, have psychotic disorders. Some are troubled, some lonely, some just call to chat about and work through things that have happened in their day. The common factor is they are all interesting and friendly people.
I am not there to give advice, but to listen if it is needed, chat and reassure. Being bi-polar puts me at an advantage in that I can sympathise with symptoms and medication problems. But it is not about me, so although I don't mention my own experiences, I hope my understanding comes across.
The advantages to the callers are perhaps obvious - an anonymous ear to listen, someone neutral and non-judgemental to whom to vent their frustrations, a friendly voice to talk to at the end of the day.
Advantages to the voluteers are perhaps less obvious. What do I get out of it?
When I answer the phone to someone in tears, who, when they hang up an hour later, is calmer and thinking clearer, there is a sense of acheivement. To talk to some people who call regularly, be privilaged to know private and sensitive episodes in their life, and to be able to laugh and cry with them as a result is an incredible honour. Knowing that many callers try to phone every evening gives me the knowledge and satisfaction that we are a good and needed service.
The one fly in the ointment is there are nowhere near enough volunteers to properly fill the need.
My heart bleeds for every caller who tells me they have trouble getting through.
Published Date:
16/11/2007
Modified Date:
16/11/2007
Young Man, Old man
There is a definite trend these days of older women getting it on with younger men
The tradition has always been the other way round, with older men inevitably trading the 'old one in for a newer model'. While these wonderful specimens of mankind are revered and envied by their peers, if a free and single woman dates a younger man she is frowned upon by all. What is the attraction to her? Does she have a hold over him?
But look at things logically, and it appears that this may be the natural way to go. Women in their 30's and men in their 20's are at their sexual peak. So why be with a man who would rather have a cup of tea when you can be with someone with the same sexual appetite as yourself?
Mature males tend to be stuck in a rut, not willing to try new things, get out and about, citing long working hours as a reason for their social laziness. Women are less likely to follow this path, even after a hard day at work, wanting to escape the inevitable housewifely chores that await them at home and have some fun.
We have plenty of celebrity partners that illustrate how this topsy turvy world of dating can work. Cameron Dias 34, and Justin Timberlake 25, for example, may not still be together, but they did date for four years years. Demi Moore is married to her 'toyboy', actor Ashton Kutcher who is 15 years her juniour. And Halle Berry 41 is expecting a child in with her 31 year old boyfriend.
I myself had a relationship with a guy 11 years my junior which lasted a year and ended amicably. He was mature for his age, I was immature.
It all suggests to me that we should all at least test out this theory.
Maybe there is no substitute to experience, but it sure is fun finding out!
Published Date:
01/11/2007
Modified Date:
01/11/2007
Foot in the Door
Second day into my new part-time job as Editorial Assistant for the Leamington Courier. Already I know it is going to be frantic. No change there then, you may say. But the difference between this and my previous, number oriented job of buyer, is that I am now working with words, not numbers. Numbers and I don't get on.
It is fascinating to see how a busy newsroom works. I'm sure I will vicariously learn a lot over the next few months from the journalistic staff, both news and careerwise.
OK - so I am not the high powered feature journalist and author I envisaged for myself - yet. But I have a foot in the door.
I intend to make the most of this opportunity.
Published Date:
18/10/2007
Modified Date:
18/10/2007